The Story of Isaac

Back in January we had a 16-month-old daughter, (thing one) a new baby on the way (thing 2) and all the hopes and dreams that come along with that picture of happiness.

Then came our first ultrasound at 12 weeks. We were hoping to find out if our child was a boy or girl! To be honest, we were slightly nervous. We knew we were taking a risk getting pregnant at 41. We were ready to hear that our little bundle of joy might have Down syndrome. We were as prepared as we thought we could have been.

That day we learned that our baby was a little boy who we named Isaac! We also learned that Isaac has trisomy 13 (which was later confirmed by an amniocentesis). While we might have been ready to hear that Isaac had Down syndrome (also called trisomy 21), we were not at all prepared for this. Honestly, we didn't even know trisomy 13 existed. We were shocked, lost, grief stricken, angry, sad, and clinging to strings of hope and praying for miracles.

Trisomy 13 is a syndrome not unlike Down syndrome in that the patient has an extra chromosome. With trisomy 13 this anomaly occurs on the 13th chromosome. It causes high risk of miscarriage, numerous forms of physical deformations, mental abnormalities, and a very short expected lifespan.  

Time passed as if in a fog. My feelings were akin to those of loosing a loved one, but more complicated. I was grieving the loss of the life of my child that was still growing and alive in my wife's belly. That led to feelings of guilt. I felt like I was giving up on Isaac, though he was still growing, still very much alive. The guilt led to depression and self-loathing. What kind of father was I to give up so quickly, so easily? Along with these feelings was the spiritual struggle. Where was God in this?

You see, I knew we were going to have a boy long before the doctor told us. One night as I was praying for our child I felt God's presence. A conversation I had with God years before came to mind. Back in 2004 I had prayed and asked God for a son to carry on the Butz name. It was a desire of my dying grandfather to see his name live on to another generation, and I was praying that God would grant him this wish. God told me back then that the Butz name would live on, and that night in 2015 He told me this new baby was that promised son. Because of this promise I felt confused, betrayed, and angry. Why would God bring all of this to my mind just to give me a son that might not see the light of day? That I may not be able to tickle, cuddle, sing to, rock to sleep, play catch with, watch football with, watch grow up, or see get married?

As time moved on we have learned more about Isaac and trisomy 13. Physically Isaac has various deformities: 6 fingers on both hands, a malformed nose, ears in a lower position than normal, one ocular cavity that never formed, one kidney that is covered in cysts, a brain that hasn't fully formed, and a heart that has one ventricle smaller than the other. We most likely won't know how serious these issues are until he is born. He may come out and go straight to surgery. Every visit to the doctor is filled with nervousness and stress. 

As the raw emotions started to fade my wife and I started to have a desire to take some action. We felt like we weren't giving Isaac his due. After all Isaac was alive and well in the womb! He will be our first-born son! And we decided to treat him as such...to celebrate the miracle that he already is...to give thanks for the answered prayers for another child, and for our first son!

Announcing Isaac due September 25th!!

We also started budgeting for every possible outcome:

C-section in the private hospital $6000

Construct an extra room for Isaac $3000

Doctor appointments before birth $500

Funeral Costs $1000

Clothes and baby supplies $500

We started investigating ways we could raise this money. Then we started to see God's helping hand. SCORE International (the mission I now work for) sent us $1320! We also received help from various friends and family members amounting to $2650! At our last doctor appointment, in the public sector, we were offered a guarantee to be able to schedule our C-section with them (something that we were told before wasn't an option). Effectively a $6000+ gift!! All of this we were offered! The only person we asked was God, and he has provided!!

Now we have to ask. We have $1030 left that we know we will need if Isaac makes it home. Surely there are more things that we don't even know that we need yet. We are asking you to help us get there. Would you consider giving to Isaac, to help us provide for him all that he deserves?

You can give through PayPal by clicking on the link in the right hand column of this blog. You can also click here to give through my page with SCORE International. Everything given will be used to provide for Isaac, from diapers, doctor appointments, toys, surgeries, blankets, paint for his room, or God forbid, funeral arrangements. 

We appreciate, immensely, the outpouring of love, support, comments, and prayers. And we are completely overwhelmed by the amount of grace, mercy and love God has given us. If you are so inclined, please join us every Monday in prayer and fasting for our son Isaac. We continue to ask God for what we know He is capable of doing. We pray that Isaac is able to enjoy a long and high quality life!